kerriesakura: (Default)

This week, I:

~discovered that I have confidence

~had the official warning that work were going to slap me with officially overturned

~have been declared well enough to be completely discharged from the care of the mental health team at the clinic- the psychiatrist discharged me a while ago, the community psychiatric nurse discharged me on Friday. They say I'm well :D

~had lovely evening with [ profile] karrotsoup who bought me holyshitexpensiveandgorgeous lipgloss from Benefit :O

~oh yes- discovered the wonder of lipgloss

~had ace friends

~was told that the difference in how I am and how I used to be is wonderful. More than once

Fucking hell. I'm amazed. Actually humbled and amazed by how good it's all been this week.

I am full of the glee. Glee, I say! :D

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Sure I did one of these before on old LJ but fucked if I can find it. So here instead are ten reasons why I am going to stop moaning about being single IMMEDIATELY. These are personal reasons rather than generalisations... I hope. So they don't imply coupledom or singledom is right or wrong. They're just my positives. :)

1) If I want to spend all day reading a psychology textbook, I can. If I want to stay up til fuck o'clock watching hockey, I can, and won't have to roll into bed at 4am disturbing the other person. If I decide for no reason whatsoever bollocks to this I'm going to Derry, then I can.

2) I am not actually that good at being around people constantly. People are fab and I approve of them generally, but if I don't get my own space regularly I will wilt like a flower and run out of energy. Alone time is the only thing that ever recharges my battery fully, as I have learned the hard way.

3) I am still in this really long Personal Development (blah sorry) stage. I don't know for SURE that a relationship would bugger this up, but is it a chance I really want to take? HMM. I'm actually doing quite well without a relationship - probably best not to tinker, right now.

4) I can squee in peace without the person I happen to be with totally not understanding my fascinsation with hockey players, comedians, or Tommy Bowe or why this is SO EXCITING - in other words I don't have to reign in my enthusiasm because someone else thinks I should.

5) I have a completely screwed up body thermostat. Tonight, for example, there were thunderstorms all day, it is SO HOT and god knows how I'll get to sleep. Having to then share the bed with someone else's body heat might kill me. This might seem like a terrible reason, but not having to share the bed EVERY night is fab. :D And I really do overheat and then that makes me ill and baaah fail.

6) I work full-time, I study, I have to fit in exercise, I have to fit in fun stuff, I have to rest, I travel 2 and a half hours to and from work daily. WHERE EXACTLY is the time? Oh right: I'd be fuckin' hard pushed to find it.

7) Domestics. Arguing about who's turn it is to do what now is not my idea of fun, yet this is a relationship cliche precisely because it is so true. No, thank you!

8) They say it's girls who are broody, well tell you what, when I was on it was the BOYS who said they wanted children. Lots and lots of children. You know what I don't want? Correct: CHILDREN. EVER. This current incompatibility is a big problem.

9) It's a fucking shitty thing to think about all the time anyway: like I'm placing a value judgement on myself for being single. I sure as shit wouldn't do it to other people, so I need to bloody stop doing it to myself. It has no bearing on my goodness or badness as a person.

10) Utterly foolproof and surefire way to avoid ever having to be dumped. :D!
kerriesakura: (Default)
Derek Draper is a dick. It's more than a fun bit of illiteration; he really is. Quite apart from the spin doctor stuff, what really bugs me is the fact that a) he lied about his qualifications and b) he thinks it's absolutely brilliant to spread lies about people based on their mental health. This is a man who works in the public eye and passes himself off as a psychotherapist. Well done! You're a dick.

For more, see this, or just type in "draper psychology regulation" into Google. Because, you see, while clinical psychologist for example is a protected title, psychotherapist is not. Like nutritionist. Anybody can do it, regardless of proper accredited qualification or suitability.

The University of Pretend makes me angry anyway, but their psychology department makes me angriest of all. And there's nothing I can bloody do about it.

Or: I could shut the fuck up and put my money where my mouth is. Be the change I want to see in the world, and all that. So I've decided I'm going to be a psychologist and help people PROPERLY.

OH THE HUBRIS. I do Have A Plan, though, and it is thus: complete introductory course on psychology. Take undergrad degree in psychology. Hopefully achieve suitable grade to do Masters. Do all the other stuff needed for accreditation. Leave YEARS to do all this. Learn lots. Don't go mad and get ill. Don't fuck it up.

Via the Open University.

So that's nice. The only problem is the wee voice at the back of my head says "you're being too ambitious." I put this in an email, and it still sums it up best: It's a very British/Irish thing this, in saying "I want to be a doctor" I might as well have said "hello I'm a dick :D" because that's Getting Ideas Above Your Station and that Won't Do. Frankly it'd be more sane to say "I want to be Doctor Who", although people would still change your name to Doctor Whodoes Shethinksheis.

I've wanted to study psychology for ages though, just every time I thought about applying for the OU degree life exploded in my face. I think I'm ready now though. Three reasons:

1) I got my course materials in the post for the introductory course. I wanted to start reading the textbook immediately. I have held off for now but, dammit, I'm going to start it this evening after swimming I don't care, nerdfaced nerd.
2) I went through the modules and things I need to cover and went AAAAH I GET TO DO HUMAN BIOLOGY. I GET TO DO SCIENCE! which to be fair, isn't the usual reaction. I swear, there was actual squee.
3) I want to I want to I want to.

I've been hammering on for YEARS about how I want to help people and do something worthwhile, and I always wanted it to be in this field, and I cannot and will not do that without being qualified. So isn't it about time - I'm 27 next month - I get ON with it?

For the first time in a long time - perhaps the first time ever - I'm looking forward to the future. That can't be bad, can it?

(Derek Draper is a former Labour spin doctor and current psychotherapist. He is married to Kate Thing Off GMTV. He has been involved in an email scandal of late and has disgraced himself twice and really, we should've known that someone who hangs out with Peter Mandelson wouldn't really be a very nice person. He has written the worst self-help book I have EVER SEEN, and I've seen a lot of those things - for a self-help book, an awful fucking lot of it is about himself. Basically if you're not from the UK you have no reason to know who he is, and y'all should count yourself lucky. Malcolm Tucker is less of a bastard, and he isn't even real.)


Apr. 17th, 2009 08:11 am
kerriesakura: (Default)

I saw that and immediately thought of the Sharks. Oh, you... boys. I'm not going to rag on them though, because it's only one game so far. I'm annoyed, of course I am, but... it's a little bit premature to write them off. Personally, I'm hoping they're suitably embarrassed to step it up next game.

Let's go Sharks. :)

On the other hand I am full of the squee because YAY BRUINS and YAY PHIL and... I hear there was kissing? Hehehehe. I have it allll on DVD. I want to go home nowwww and watch it!

Although that, too, is only one game. One day at a time.

~flails quietly in the corner~


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Kerrie Sakura

July 2010

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