We make a good team.

[kerriesakura]

Kez'n'Chris. Fighting Crime Across The Universe Since 2000

When I was 13 years old, my grandad died. He was my mum's dad - I never knew my dad's dad, he died before I was born. I adored my one grandad and I still miss him terribly. After my dad walked out, I missed my grandad even more - because it was painfully apparent that he was a hundred times the man my father was and ever will be.

I still miss my grandad.

I do wonder sometimes how many of my problems have sprung from the lack of a positive male role model for most of my adolescence. I spent much of it fighting with and being belittled by my dad, I never had boyfriends for the longest time, and when I did eventually start down that road, they were - surprise! - all asshats.

These days there are males I can talk to without wanting to set fire to either him or myself, and for that I am thankful. The first one though, and the biggest positive male influence in my life to date, was my big brother.

Which will come as a surprise to my mother because she only had two children, both daughters. He's not a half brother, either. No, I adopted him. Or he adopted me. I don't remember when this happened or why it came about, but I call him bruv and he calls me sis.

He is Chris, or speednik. He makes me laugh no matter how bad I'm feeling. He always tells me how much he thinks of me. He has put up with a LOT of my shit. This is not to say we've never argued - of course we have, but it's never derailed our friendship. He offers advice and love and a listening ear no matter what the problem is, and he's never afraid to tell me if I'm acting the twat. Although he puts it much nicer than I would. ;)

He has the good grace to laugh at my terrible jokes. He tells me I'm HILARIOUS when I'm depressed and I know exactly what he means, rather than giving him a telling off. No matter how much time passes between phonecalls, it feels like no time at all.

I don't get to see him very often - autumn 2007 was the last time - and that is the only complaint I have. Our friendship helped - and helps - me grow was a person, helped me through really fucking difficult times, helped me when there was nobody else I could turn to. For the past nine years, Chris has been there for me regardless.

I am also grateful to his lovely wife Rachel, who never gets annoyed at me for yammering on about crap to her husband all the time. :) And who indeed asked me to be witness at their wedding - something which still fills me with pride. Honoured to have been asked, proud of my big bruv for getting wed.

I often think I haven't done an awful lot right in this life, but then I think about this friendship. I've done THIS right. I am very grateful.

Thank you for the last nine years Chris. Here's to many more. :)

And here's another photoshopped image. Which looks like summat out of Doctor Who or summat and is fantabulous:


Win.

Comments

:D

[speednik.livejournal.com]

It just so happens that I also called my userpic Kez n' Chris - we only differed on punctuation.

What can I say?

I know what to say.

My life as it is now is down to you. It's as simple as that. The friends I have now, my wife, the sense of humour, the kind of music, the comedy I find funny all start with you.

Just a couple of weeks before we first spoke, I'd split up with my girlfriend (the one who also came to aforementioned wedding), and I was upset. I needed someone in my life - not really a potential partner in that sense, just someone to care about and to care about me and there you were. And there you still are. I keep thinking about how much I've seen you grow, from excitable squeeing teenager to excitable squeeing woman and am proud to have been able to witness this. I never think about how much I must have changed or grown in that time - I tend to think that I haven't, but I bet I have and I bet you've noticed it.

Argh - I'm so rubbish at this! I just want to fill this panel with YOU ARE AWESOME until they stop being recognisable words and just become The Truth.

It's very rare that I feel the distance between us, but I could give you the biggest hug right now, and I want to. But I can't. And that makes me sad.

But - our life together as friends, as faux siblings, is part of an ongoing process. In eleven years time we'll look back and think how silly it was that we made such a fuss out of nine years, and I hope deeply that as part of that ongoing friendship that we find ways to hug each other more often when either of us need it.

I love you. It didn't take me very long to feel this way when we first met, and I'm stuck with it now - because, hon, that love is forever.

x