The effects of celery on depression

Today I walked into town for a newspaper and back again, which is about a mile and a half. Later, I did it again, after borrowing a dog (which was delighted to get out, though for her it was more of a smell than a walk).

I've been walking regularly, and doing sit-ups, and heaven help me, doing power plate sessions. Power plate is that vibratey thing you stand on that Madonna uses, apparently, but don't let that crazy lady (or fucking batshit madwoman, if you prefer) put you off. I have no idea if it helps you exercise or lose weight or tone up, because I've only used it twice. What I do know is using it makes me feel brilliant afterwards, so hurrah for that.

I'm eating fruit and vegetables and healthy things. I've stopped eating crisps and chocolate every day. I've almost given up fizzy things - though not totally.

This is nothing to do with a diet. It's a lifestyle change. Basically, the family thought that it'd help my depression to visit this motivation clinic and lose weight, so I went, as a favour to them really. Instead of getting what I thought I'd get - a lecture and LOL YOU'RE FAT from the lady, she was very nice and sympathetic and told me she didn't expect me to lose half my body weight in a month or take crazy supplements or starve myself or walk nine miles a day. She wanted me lose it in tiny amounts every week.

So I gave it a go. However, this isn't a lecture about how excellent it is to eat healthily and how much I've lost because... no. This isn't, either, going to be a weight loss journal, where I beat myself up because I ate a chocolate bar or where I yammer on about how much I lost, or didn't. Because a) it's BORING, and b) I think the worst thing you can do is analyse the shit out of it. The point of this is it's meant to become second nature, not a big deal.

So I won't be telling you how much I lose or not every week. Or how much I've lost already, though it's enough that I'm pleased. :) A few close friends know, but I don't want it to become Weekly LJ Weigh In. Partly to protect myself, too, as well as it being boring - if I slip up one week, or plateau and don't lose any, I know I will feel awful about it. The thought of having to put it on LJ will make it much worse.

I feel I have to write about it, though, because I was so reluctant to lose weight for so long. Partly because, yes, I couldn't be bothered. Partly because I'm a stubborn cow. We're all judged on our appearances, and it's not fair and not right and wah wah wah, but it's sadly the way it is. I thought I was being a maverick, refusing to conform to that. You can like me fat or you can fuck off, that sort of thing.

Except I was sick with depression, and I wasn't getting better. Medication and therapy alone were helping, but not completely. The only other thing I could do was change my lifestyle.

I think - I think - it's working. ~touches wood!~ I feel much better and more clear-headed since I started this. I don't get the dreaded 3pm slump. I'm not hungry all the time. But most of all life doesn't feel like an endless pile of struggle all the time. I'm sure this isn't JUST down to walking and eating celery, but I'm sure it helps. It's excellent.

So really, it's not about being skinny. It's about looking after my health. It's not about being ashamed of being a fat girl, and it's not about conforming to a body image, and it's not about looking good in a corset, though that'd be nice.

Plus, celery is delicious. You don't believe me, but it IS.