(no subject)

I have trouble getting to sleep. I'm exhausted but I'm keeping myself awake because the two worst parts of the day are while trying to get to sleep and just after waking up.

Waking up is like when Eddie Izzard tries to start an oldskool petrol lawnmower. ONE nananana no. TWO nanananana don't think so. It takes ages before I don't feel like I'm battling through a fog. And stuff hurts, too, first thing in the morning. Ugh.

Falling asleep, though, is strange and worrying. There's a stage between waking and sleeping where you have not-quite-dreams, and while the night-long dreams are pretty much gone ~touches wood~ I still have weird ones when I'm trying to drift off.

The first hour of deciding I can't stay awake any longer invariably involves waking up with a jump at least three times because I'm dreaming that I can't breathe, or that I'm dying, or being chased, OR. And those are usually middle of the night dreams, so I don't get it. Oh, and for a bonus, this is the time of day when muscles go all twitchy. Resting: it's hard earned.

When I'm asleep, I usually stay there the whole night through now. But getting there, christafuckinglive, is a deeply unpleasant journey.

My health is weird.

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