Now there you go again, you see

[kerriesakura]

I feel a little insane writing this, mostly because I'm worrying about what other people think of me. What else is new?

Is it insane though that I feel more like myself than I have done in a couple of years because I have the hockey bug again? Is it crazy that some part of me needs this damn game in order to be happy?

It's not that I stopped loving it, it's that I stopped having time for it. That has the change; that's why I have weekends.

Hockey has an effect on me that I find hard to explain and always have, like it's wrong somehow and I love it more than I'm allowed to. But when I'm immersed in it then it's the best feeling in the world. It makes everything else go away for a while. It's a pure escapism that I had totally forgotten, and now I wonder how I ever forgot something like that.

Everyone says that you shouldn't define yourself by external things, but it feels like this is part of who I am. Hockey's my thing. I've missed it terribly, but now it feels like remembering who I am.

That sounds so much like I'm putting too much into it, doesn't it? Well all I can say is, everyday life goes on and it has to be dealt with. You have to find something else to uplift you. And there it is. It's back, baby. And me with it.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Comments

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Is it insane though that I feel more like myself than I have done in a couple of years because I have the hockey bug again? Is it crazy that some part of me needs this damn game in order to be happy?

Absolutely and definitely not. I'm through trying to figure out why something makes me feel happy, just glad that it does. So, if it makes you happy, and your indulging in it doesn't hurt anyone, why the fuck not go for it? Happiness is rare enough as it is, let's not start putting limitations on where it can come from.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

You're right. You knew that :) But you're right. Deep breath.

[lady-lilith.livejournal.com]

Hockey is the only thing that has kept me sane. And I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. It's kept me buoyant through my very low depressions and grounded during my very high manics. Hockey is the only thing that gets me through most days. Hockey (and two very good hockey friends) got me through my breakup without much drastic change in mood. Let me tell you, that was no easy feat.

Believe me when I tell you that I completely understand the feeling. My hockey boys mean more to me than I could ever explain to anyone. Don't feel like you're alone in that.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

And I'm sorry I haven't been around at all on here. I had no idea what happened. ~hug~

[lady-lilith.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm glad to see you back around here.

[lady-lilith.livejournal.com]

Look how happy Chris is that you're back into hockey.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

SCREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!

Um. Sorry. I'm a bit. OVERWHELMED <3

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes there are things that become irrevocably part of who we are, whether it's because of the thing or the time & place we got into it. I don't think you're crazy for that. **smish**

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) ~hugs~