Kerrie Sakura

When I was a teenager I lived the clichés, man. Lonely, awkward, bullied kid from a small town? Yeah, who wasn't? Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to see. All I had was a radio.

Music was my life. This was before the internet, before you could have any music you wanted at a click, before custom-made radio on last.fm: I had Steve Lamacq and John Peel and that was it. Mind you that was all I needed: a litany of wonderful bands who would never sell a record and it didn't matter. Bands who were, in hindsight, sometimes thunderingly shit, but that wasn't the point. The point was discovering the good stuff. The point was feeling excited about it, feeling like those DJs were sharing something they were genuinely cockahoop about with you. Everything else in life was rubbish, but how many kids in small towns felt that bit better for those radio shows? No small number, I'll bet.

Now I don't want Radio 1 to go back to that. That isn't the point. This isn't some romanticised yearning to be 16 again as I would rather put my face in a blender. It is, however, a way of saying "look, radio matters." Therefore 6music matters, the BBC station they want to kill. The BBC station which is the spirit of my teenage evenings writ large. The BBC station which isn't about bullshit except when George Lamb is on: it's about (and there's a clue in the title) MUSIC.

And oh I know, just go on last.fm you pillock. And I frequently do. It's good but it isn't the same. There's no personal touch. There's no getting to hear the joy someone has about sharing something they're genuinely excited about with you. There's no live stuff, that's for damn sure.

I don't mean to be Indie Bore, when I could shut up and listen to some pop music instead of 10,000 jingly jangly indie schmindie bands. But dammit I LIKE jingly jangly indie schmindie. That and, as pointed out on popjustice.com, if 6music goes, Radio 1 is going to be forced into being all things to all people again. Which means less pop. Which means everyone loses.

I grew up with the radio on constantly. It was a lifeline to a seriously unhappy youngster. When I was a seriously unhappy adult and had the energy for nothing BUT listening to the radio, it was a lifeline again. Discovering a song you love for the first time is one of life's eternal pleasures. Not all of us can go to gigs and find things on our own.

Music matters. Radio matters. That's why BBC 6music matters. I suspect to more than just myself.

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I am sick and tired of vertigo, and all the other stuff that keeps happening with it. I don't know how wise it is but I just want to feel better, so I've booked in to see an osteopath. They can try neck things and jaw things and repositioning things. So yes.

Fed up with this now. Need to not be broken.

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I'm in Manchester airport. One day early. I've had to go home early because I'm very sick and I just couldn't stay any longer.

Temperature, cough, muscle pain, stuffed-up feeling all present and correct. I walked up Becky's stairs this morning and by the top was out of breath. My chest hurts so much. It hurts to laugh and coughing is agony.

I've got a code number thing for tamiflu. Brilliant. Shouldn't technically be out and about (if the airport knew they'd probably throw a fit) but I need to get home.

And yes it was expensive but much worse than that, I feel really guilty for all the trouble I've caused everyone. Ugh. Breathing hurts. Just want to be home.

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