Why don't you just -

[kerriesakura]

Well, shit. When I grow up, if this psychology thing doesn't work out, I'm gonna buy a bookshop, and I'm gonna be surly and rude to all the customers, and I'm not gonna brush my hair, and I'm gonna tease Bill Bailey about his hair, and sometimes The Actor Kevin Eldon will show up and scare the beejeebus out of everyone, and there'll be an impossibly pretty funny woman in the shop next door, and I will make wine for the Pope. IT'LL BE FAB.

So yes. I'm going to be Bernard Black.

This is a cautionary tale of a situation whereby you will end up going "BAH" and deciding you want to be a fictional bookshop owner. And the moral of it is: don't get too excited too soon.

So, a date, right? That's all good and exciting and I've never been on a real date and EEEE! So karrotsoup calls me and asks for the gossip and I tell her; we were emailing on OK Cupid and this is his name and INSERT CARTOON SCREECHY BRAKES NOISE HERE.

Cuz Tracy is on OK Cupid too! And he'd been emailing her too! And he'd been odd and creepy! And cue the facepalm!

Which made me think again: I said I wanted to meet him in Benedicts, which is a restaurant and bar where I try to take everybody at least once (mental note: never taken Sarah there, do this next time she is over) because it's yummy and really nice and also in this case because it's in the city centre and always pretty busy, so I thought that'd be nice and safe.

Then he says, no I don't want to meet there, it'll make me nervous (whut). Erm, okay, where should we meet? In a bar, he says. Benedicts IS a bar but never mind, and he suggests Bar 12, which is fine but is somewhere off Botanic Avenue. I know Botanic Avenue because I'm there all the time, but I don't know where Bar 12 is and I'm a dick and just because somewhere looks dandy on googlemaps (I did look it up) it doesn't mean it IS okay. Why didn't I think of this last night? I don't know.

Now obviously it is my decision alone whether or not I want to go. But frankly I'd be seriously deluded to not take into account the thoughts of someone I've been friends with for ten years. But now I'm just a leeeetle uncomfortable with the fact he's been a bit erm to someone else and also with the not meeting in Benedicts thing. So...

Instinct always wins and mine's got the little alarm bell going off. I therefore do not have a date next Friday after all. So there's that.

It's a good thing I was in a good mood today so I'm not too upset. Mildly annoyed but only a little bit gutted.

Oh, and! Today I paid someone to touch me.

...I had a massage, pervbrain. XD

Neck and shoulder massage because stress brings on the shoulder pain. It was diviiiiine. So blissful it's almost an argument for the existence of heaven. If I don't sleep like a very relaxed log tonight, I don't think I ever will.

Right! Going to bed to read more of Anansi Boys, because Gaiman makes it all better.

PS I still hate the Penguins. Have not warmed to them in the slightest, about threw up when Crosby lifted the Cup. Oh fuck 'em, let them have their shiny thing. NEXT.

Comments

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Aaaww, that's a shame, but as long as it's a decision you're happy with then that's good. Gut reactions aren't always right, but if you're uneasy a whole week before the date then it's not really a very good sign. I hope someone else comes along. Like buses or something.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

It's just that I don't get why that city centre bar would be worse than another almostbutnotquite city centre bar. That and the email thing.

It's too big a coincidence to ignore, for a start. I'm not going down to destiny route, yikes, but I can't dismiss the fact that he was odd towards the one person I am already friends with on the site!

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

So did he say aught besides "Benedict's makes me nervous"?
Were his parents killed at Benedict's? Is it haunted? Is Benedict's considered the turf of the Jets, and he's a Shark?

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

...he's a Shark? What? Oh. Not thaaat kind of Shark. Don't confuse me, you. ;)

Yeah, that was all he said. There could be a perfectly legit reason but it's not as if I said "oh let's meet at a dogfight :D!" or something. So... hmmm.

Just doesn't feel right.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Sorry, musical theatre still beats hockey in my life experience. (:
And I can understand being apprehensive. And if he's been skeevy in the past, then it might be best to wave him on.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

This is why you get your friends to join dating sites with you.

Or why you shouldn't bloody join them IN THE FIRST PLACE.

She did suggest that we meet in Starbucks of which there is a branch a minute from my office, and she sit at another table and pretend to know nothing about any of this. Which could work! But seems a hell of a lot of hassle.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I met a few nice folks, but mostly I met folks who wouldn't respond to me.
I think it could work. And if she's volunteering, it doesn't sound like she'll feel too put upon.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

I mostly met folks that wanted about 4 children and didn't fancy anyone bigger than a twig, and oh boy are they in for a rude awakening when they find that these two attributes are not compatible. God bless you, Northern Ireland, you'll never change.

[feenix.livejournal.com]

I think you're doing the right thing. It's better to be safe than sorry, and I would be suspicious about this guy, too.

There's still hope for dating sites, though. It's just that you have to be very patient, and actively search and take some wild chances rather than letting people come to you.

The first time I joined Match, I didn't really do anything except wonder why all the guys who were winking at me were either blatantly only after one thing or blatantly had nothing in common with me (or both).

The second time, I actually paid, then did a search for what I was looking for and went around winking at every profile that looked okay, even if I thought the guy was probably way out of my league or might turn out to be an asshole.

Desperate? Maybe. But the guy I ended up dating was one of the ones about whom I thought He won't be interested in me but I'll give it a try, anyway. We only dated for a month but I was the one who ended it, and it was nothing to do with him, so all in all, the potential for something good was there :)

Sorry for that longwinded story but I just wanted to say that it's not all bad, lol.

[karrotsoup.livejournal.com]

Yes I think he is skeevy BUT that is just my opinion. I totally do not feel put upon to do the whole starbucks thing. I think that would be a good idea and then you can make up your own mind.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

Bah, I dunno. I'm not terribly thrilled about him finding out where I work. Call me a paranoid bint if yer like, but we know better than anyone what calibre of nutter you can meet online, don't we...

This is unfair, he might be nice. But instincts ain't often wrong.

[offside.livejournal.com]

aw that's a shame but yay for instincts. def. better safe than sorry.

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

That's the philosophy I abide to :)

[ms-guillotine.livejournal.com]

self pampering? who are you and what have you done with Kerrie? I am SO pleased to see these type of updates. I hope it's true happiness and you're not just masking your gloom (if you are you can always talk to me about gloom) but on the upside, WAY TO FRICKIN GO! you're making HUGE strides and its FAB to see! :)

[mirrorballmoon.livejournal.com]

Well, the massage was a present from my mum, but I am soooo going back next time I feel run down or stressy, it was so relaxing and I almost fell asleep on the table! ^_^

No, I'm not masking the gloom :) I have bad days too, but I try to recognise they'll pass, have a cry if I need to and just keep going.

Thanks for the support. :)

[unconventional.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely all for you trusting your instincts. The fact that random coincidence of him emailing a friend of yours doesn't bode well with me. There's SO MANY people on OKCupid that it makes me think there are several other people he's been emailing. And yes, while it's a dating site and you're supposed to, I just have an issue or two with that.

Massages are the best, also. I totally got one last night, all by winning a bet.